Finding Hope
by yourfavecouldnever82
Summary: Just what the title implies: both in literal and figurative terms. Set in 2008, but somewhat AU. Jasam.
1. Chapter 1

**FINDING HOPE**

 ** _Sam is called by the lawyer of Hope's grandma (Hope being the baby she was going to raise with Jason), to inform her that Bridget has run off again and 3-year-old Hope will be sent to an orphanage if someone doesn't claim her as their foster parent. Sam agrees not expecting what twists and turns her story will take from there..._**

 ** _Sam and Jason are not back together at this point. She and Lucky did break up though, as did Liz and Jason. I started writing this years ago and thought I'd share it now because I just found it at another site lol._**

* * *

 **Chapter 1**

 ** _November 8, 2008_**

Samantha "Sam" McCall had just returned from visiting her daughter's grave. Alone for the second year in a row. Rain had pelted her dark hair as she knelt on the muddy ground in front of the little headstone that bore the name "Baby Girl McCall". It has always seemed to mock her, the idea that her child was not even allowed to be buried with a real name, that the little girl she never got to even hold was gone, and that there was no one to claim her. She could have been just a fantasy figment of Sam's mind as no one ever had two words to say about the little girl anymore. Sam alone seemed to carry the weight of the little girl's death on her heart and mind.

She sighed as she walked back into her apartment and shook the beads of moisture from her damp hair. Her clothes were soaked and blackened with mud but she hardly noticed at all. Nothing really could penetrate the force field of her grief.

She walked over to the sofa, sinking down onto it and covering her face with her hands for a long time as she cried. Cried for what she had lost and mostly cried for the little girl who never took her first breath. She sat there for the longest time, tears seeping out of the crevices between her fingers, soaking her face with the pain and agony of what her life was. Invariably lonely.

The only sound in the room was the ticking of the little clock on the wall and it thrummed in her ears like a mocking echo that reminded her four years had passed since she still held the hope that she would ever really be a mother. It broke her heart. No it decimated her and left her with nothing left to fight for. She could curl into a ball now and never come out of it.

The phone suddenly jarred her to alertness and she slowly looked up, noting the number four lit up in red on the answering machine. She wondered who had been calling while she was away and who was calling now.

Still, she didn't care. Let it go on ringing and ringing. She simply did not care right now what anyone had to say.

When the answering machine clicked on, she let out a feral snarl. Couldn't people leave her alone to grieve? She didn't relish being alone but she almost welcomed it at the same time. She would hate for anyone to be witness to her soul falling out with her salty tears.

She went to grab the machine and rip it from the wall when she heard the voice say, "Samantha McCall? Are you there? I've tried calling you four times now. My name is Aaron Pearson. I am the attorney for the estate of Rita Sullivan. You probably remember Mrs. Sullivan as the grandmother of Bridget Daly. Bridget has a daughter named Hope -"

Sam immediately jumped on the phone and pressed it to her ear. "Hello? This is Sam McCall," she said in a breathless voice. "I know all of them. Or I did, actually. Why are calling?"

"Ah, Ms. McCall, I regret to inform you that Mrs. Sullivan has passed away and -"

Sam sighed. Wanted to say, _well, good, I'm glad, that old witch who took my last chance at happiness is gone,_ but simply said, "That is sad and all but what does it have to do with me?"

"It seems that Mrs. Sullivan wanted you to take care of Hope when she passed away."

Sam shook her head unconsciously. "No. No. She wouldn't. Is this some kind of prank call?" she asked. She couldn't believe what she was hearing.

"No, I assure you, Ms. McCall, this is quite legitimate. Her granddaughter, Bridget, has been MIA for two years now. No one can seem to track her down. Mrs. Sullivan made arrangements for you to take care of little Hope in the event of her death. Now that's she's gone ..."

Sam dropped down into a chair, her legs going out from under her. Could this be true? Were her dreams about to come to fruition? Was she going to be a mother to a little girl that she had loved like her own?

"I don't know what to say. I mean, this really is not some trick or some scam?"

"No, no its not," he repeated this time more tersely.

"So I could have Hope? I could adopt her? She would be my daughter?"

"Yes. I would see to the arrangements myself."

"Can I have a second opinion?" Sam asked, wanting to be cautious, trying to think rationally and cover all her bases so none of this came back to bite her in the ass in the end, the way so many other rash decisions of hers had.

Tears seeped out of the corners of her eyes as Mr. Pearson spoke. "Of course you can but I was hoping you could pick up Hope tonight."

"Why?"

"Because if you don't, I'll have to put her in a foster program."

That was all Sam needed to hear to spring into action. "Okay, okay, I will come get her. I would love to have her. Where is she now?"

"With me, in New York City. I'll give you the address."

"Okay," Sam said as tears continued to work themselves down her cheeks. Her hand was shaky as she scribbled down the address. "I'll be there as soon as I can."

"Wait, Ms. McCall," the man said.

"Yes?"

"There's something you should know."

"What?"

"Hope is now deaf ..."

 **A/N:** Much more to come. Plus I will answer questions you might have soon!


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

Sam rocked herself back and forth as Mr. Pearson spoke again. "Ms. McCall, did _you_ hear what I said?" He asked as if she was the one who had lost her hearing. "I _said_ little Hope is deaf."

"I heard you," Sam said, finding her voice. It sounded different to her own ears though she wasn't sure why. "But she wasn't before. How did it happen?" There were so many emotions swirling inside of Sam right then – fear, hope, joy, sadness – that she felt a bit faint and sagged hard against the back of the chair.

"She contracted meningitis last year," Mr. Pearson explained. "She could very well have died but fortunately she didn't. However, being that she is hard of hearing now, naturally, she can't communicate like other little children her age. She is dependent on the use of American Sign Language although she is slowly but surely mastering the ability to read lips."

"She sounds so brave," Sam murmured. "I can't imagine being so young and having something like that happen to me. How could Bridget – how could she just run off and leave behind a helpless little child?"

"Bridget left long before it happened."

"Still…"

"Ms. McCall, about the deaf issue … It doesn't affect your decision to raise Hope, does it? Because raising a child with special needs… It's quite the undertaking."

"I realize that but I am ready," Sam said. She didn't even have to think it over. It would be challenging, no doubt, raising a child who she wouldn't yet know how to communicate with, but she was more than ready for this. That all of this had come about on the anniversary of her baby's death… It had to mean something, right?

"I want her, Mr. Pearson. I always did. Having to give her up was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do in my life. I'll learn sign language. I would do anything for her."

"Well, Mrs. Sullivan knew that you loved and adored Hope, thus why she was adamant that you raise the little girl in the event of her death," Mr. Pearson said. "Now let me give you my address and you can come to the city to meet Hope."

XoXoXo

Sam reached New York City in record time, her stomach alight with nervous butterflies as she propelled her way through traffic and finally managed to find a parking spot two blocks down from a row of legal offices on 38th Street. Her heart was sitting in her throat as she walked into the building; her legs were spaghetti at best, but she somehow managed to make it to the elevator. She still couldn't believe that all of this was happening, that she was getting a second chance with Hope. It felt too good to be true. She had pinched herself so many times by now that the inner area of her left elbow stung and shown red. Any minute she feared she would wake up from this lovely dream, but thus far, it hadn't happened.

 _Please let this be real,_ she thought as she arrived at office number 3456. It was a small, non-descript little space and as she pushed back the door, she guessed that Mr. Pearson wasn't the most prestigious lawyer in town. It made sense though. The Sullivans hadn't been rich when she knew them; they wouldn't have been able to afford expensive legal services.

Sam shook her head to clear her thoughts as she slipped into the office. The front desk was unmanned so she called out _, "Mr. Pearson?_ Mr. Pearson, its Sam McCall."

She hesitated before moving further into the office. A slight, balding man suddenly appeared in her path. "Ahh, Ms. McCall," he said. He held out a small, liver-spotted hand and Sam shook it. "I'm Aaron Pearson."

Sam let out the small breath that she hadn't been realizing that she was holding. "It's so nice to meet you. I was so surprised to get your call. I never expected Mrs. Sullivan to want me in Hope's life again." She looked down for a moment, moisture gathering in the softness of her eyelashes. "I never expected to see that little girl again, ever."

"Well Mrs. Sullivan hoped that Bridget would step up for Hope but Bridget … Well, she was Bridget. Hope is far better off without her," Mr. Pearson said frankly. "The only good thing that girl ever did was sign away her rights to Hope before she skipped town last time. Which means –"

"Which means I really can legally adopt Hope," Sam said, a shuddery breath leaking from her full lips.

Mr. Pearson nodded. "That's exactly what it means. Bridget has no legal claim on her anymore and that's just as well. My father was Mrs. Sullivan's friend for years and I saw the way Bridget flitted in and out of the little girl's life; how she brought bad influences into her world… The best thing she could have done was free Hope to be loved by someone else."

"I _will_ love her," Sam vowed. "I already do. I wanted her to be mine so badly."

Mr. Pearson nodded curtly. "I heard… Now Hope is with my secretary. Before I take you to her, we need to go over some things."

"Alright," Sam agreed. Her heart was hammering with anticipation; she was dying to see the little girl that was going to be hers, but she told herself that she could wait a little while longer.

"Follow me," Mr. Pearson said and led Sam to a small, cluttered office two doors down. He cleaned off a chair piled high with folders and gestured for Sam to sit down. She did so as he took the seat across from her and opened a file folder. He began to explain all of the legal details to Sam and she followed along carefully. She would of course have her mother go over everything again with a fine-tooth comb but for now, mercifully, Mr. Pearson seemed to know exactly what he was doing. The way he spoke about Hope; Sam realized that he had more affection for the little girl than she had originally figured on.

Mr. Pearson looked up at Sam curiously at one point. "Is it your intent to raise Hope on your own?"

Sam nodded. "Yes. There's no one … There hasn't been anyone for a long time… Is that a problem?"

"No, it's not a problem. Mrs. Sullivan read the newspapers though, you know. She knew about the murder trial last year where-in you testified against your ex-fiancé, Jason Morgan. She knew that you and Mr. Morgan were no more and she decided to have me seek you out anyway, perhaps because she believed that you had distanced yourself from Mr. Morgan."

Sam tap-tapped her fingers on the hard Oak desktop. "Would it have mattered to Mrs. Sullivan if Jason were still a part of my life? Because he wanted to raise Hope too, you know. We shared that dream once upon a time. Now he's not in my life in _that way_ anymore, and never will be again, but I have to be honest with you here. We live in the same small town. We're going to run into each other and if he wants to see Hope, maybe even spend some time with her, I won't stop him. I can't. For all of our differences, I know one thing. Jason Morgan would never harm a hair on any child's head."

Sam sighed. It had been a long time since she could talk about Jason and not completely fall apart. Perhaps time was beginning to heal _some_ wounds.

Mr. Pearson didn't look convinced. "But his lifestyle; his line of work…"

"He's gentle, Mr. Pearson. He's kind. He has a good heart. But _I_ will always protect Hope; _I_ will always look out for her. You don't need to worry about that."

The man nodded, scratching his left temple for a moment. "You know, Miss McCall, I believe that you actually will be the best thing for Hope." He handed her one last document. "Now sign and initial there and then –"

"You'll let me see Hope?" Sam asked.

"Yes. I can't promise that things will run smoothly right away but Hope is a good child; very adaptable and loving, even considering how much upheaval she's been through in her young life."

Sam nodded. "I understand. But please know the first chance I get, I'm going to learn sign language. I'll buy books on it; I'll hire a tutor, whatever. I just want her to know that she's safe with me, that she can trust me and maybe even one day, love me like a mother."

Mr. Pearson nodded. "I have to admit that I had my doubts about turning Hope over to a stranger but I believe you will do just fine as her new guardian."

Sam smiled. She never wanted to let the little girl down, the little girl who had stolen her heart so long ago, in what seemed like a whole other lifetime. Aloud, she said, "I'm going to make sure she's happy and incredibly loved." Sam finished signing the documents and soon Mr. Pearson had presented her with copies. Then before she knew what was happening, Mr. Pearson was leading her down the hall to an office at the very end of the corridor.

Sam took several breaths before she moved inside. There were two figures in the room but she didn't notice Mr. Pearson's secretary. No, her eyes were immediately riveted on the most beautiful little girl – a small-boned, porcelain-featured little sprite with dark, flowing brown hair. She looked a lot like Sam had imagined she would, but even more sweet in appearance. The little girl looked up at Sam, brown eyes searching Sam's with a measure of curiosity and decidedly little trepidation.

Sam tried hard not to cry, not wanting to startle the little girl, but she couldn't help it. In that moment she was in love with this little angel. She felt that all of her life had been leading up to this moment; that everything she'd done, every wrong turn she had taken, had happened so that somehow she could know Hope again.

Mr. Pearson turned Hope's attention to him when he gently moved to her and took her chin lightly in his hand. He then kept his eyes on hers as Hope's eyes went to his lips. Mr. Pearson spoke in a soft yet commanding voice, just loud enough that Sam herself could hear every word.

"Hope, this is Sam. She's going to be taking care of you from now on. Remember - like I told you?" Mr. Pearson waited for a response and Sam nervously dug her nails into her palm until Hope responded with a nod of her head and the flexing of tiny, surprisingly agile fingers. "She understands," Mr. Pearson said. "And she's going to be a very good girl for you, won't you, Hope?"

Hope once again spread her fingers in the same motion. Mr. Pearson gave her a light hug and then reaching for her tiny hand, he led her over to Sam. Sam's breath caught in her throat and she feared she might never be able release it. She could only breathe again when Hope held up her hand and signed to Sam. "That means hi, or hello," Mr. Pearson said. "That's about the gist of what I know of sign language myself but remember, Hope does read lips."

Sam nodded. "I remember." She never took her eyes off of Hope as her fingers fumbled to make a 'hello' in return. It took some doing but she managed and that's when Hope smiled at her. That little lop-sided grin healed Sam's heart. She had been walking around for so long in a haze of pain and self-pity and in that moment, she felt damn near whole.

Finally, Mr. Pearson took Hope's hand and slipped it into the curls of Sam's fingers. A warm little fist knotted in her palm and Sam felt a feeling of joy and peace she had never experienced before.

 _She had found home._

 **A/N: I hope this chapter turned out okay. I struggled with it a bit. Okay, I struggled with it a lot. Anyway, I will introduce Jason to the story soon, probably in the next part. Thanks for reading.**


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